lego, good times...

facts?

• More people die a year by coconuts falling on their heads than by shark attacks.
• Male angler fish latch onto females and slowly deteriorate into nothing more than a pair of balls so that the female angler fish can have fresh semen whenever she needs to reproduce.
• The moon rises 50 minutes later each day. That’s why it’s up during they day sometimes.
• A sunset is usually more brilliant than a sunrise because of the dust that’s kicked up by the sun heating the ground, creating thermals. The dust then refracts the light and creates colors in the sky.
• some south african frogs are known to change sex in a one sex environment
• A Piece of ivory can be shaped and molded once it has been soaked for a few hours in a mild acid like vinegar or beer.
• dill pickles light up when charged with an electrical current.
• “Light years” are only, actually, “years” relative to the speed of the observer (us here on Earth). Not because of the 365 day cycle of the earth we call a year, but because we’re moving at such a slower speed than light that we perceive time incredibly differently.
• Cats purr at a frequency of 27-44 Hz. This is approximately that of a diesel engine.
• A male calico cat is very rare.
• Futura was the first font on the moon.
• mules can’t reproduce
• Sharks die if you drag them backwards.
• Every single living thing on this planet with an ass and a mouth forms the asshole first in early development.
• starfish have no brains.
• Your nails are made of keratin.

look a like

Groaners

Groaners

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur ’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, “You stay here; I’ll go on ahead.”

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: “Keep off the Grass.”

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, “No change yet.”

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

18. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

19. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

20. A backward poet writes inverse.

21. In democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.

22. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

23. Don’t join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects.

Twilight… A different ending

umbrellas

annoying things -

people with golf umbreallas on the high street...yes its good for covering you and your golf bag in rain but not you and half the pathway, protecting you and your ham sandwich from M&S from a little dizzle is not called for.
-stupid "travel" umbrellas (the opposite of above). marketed in John lewis with wishes such as - light but strong...wind resistant...auto close and open....swish swosh...you buy them for £20 then step out and before you've even opened it, the light wind has already bent the ribs so its broken...
crap..

just wear a poncho..

people in street

hates people standing in door ways...move...
hates people pushing supermarket tolleys on the side or dragging them from the front and not using the handel at the back...
hates people suddenly turning around in the street when one is behind them...
hates people with the tripple pushchairs that are like a row of airline seats...i dont want to see your fertility status advertised nor do i want to walk in the road to give way to you...
hates grown men/women cycling on the path...youre old enough to get on the road