hot?

ow Hot is it?

* the birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.

* the potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.

* farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.

* the cows are giving evaporated milk.

* the trees are whistling for the dogs.

* you no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.

* you eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.

* you can make instant sun tea.

* you learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.

* the temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.

* you’ve experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.

* you would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.

* you can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.

* you discover that in August, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.

* you discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.

* you notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

* hot water now comes out of both taps.

* it’s noon in August, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.

* you actually burn your hand opening the car door.

* you break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. before work.

* no one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning.

* your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, “What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?”

* you realize that asphalt has a liquid state.