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i've had an accident

“A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.”

“The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.”

“I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way.”

“Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have.”

“I thought my window was down; but found it was up when I put my hand through it.”

“No one was to blame for the accident, but it never would have happened if the other driver had been alert.”

“The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him.”

“I saw the slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.”

“I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.”

“I was taking my canary to the hospital. It got loose in the car and flew out the window. The next thing I saw was his rear end, and there was a crash.”

“I was backing my car out of the driveway in the usual manner when it was struck by the other car in the same place where it had been struck several times before.”

“The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.”

“The accident happened when the right door of a car came around the corner without giving a signal.”

“I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.”

“I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprung up, obscuring my vision.”

“I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.”

“I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.”

“I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found that I had a fractured skull.”

“My wench slipped, losing my balance, and I hurt my back.”

“I was unable to stop in time, and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and passengers then left immediately for a vacation with injuries.”

“To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.”

“The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle.”

“When I could not avoid a collision, I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car.”

“I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.”

“In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.”

“My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.”

“As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.”

“The telephone pole was approaching fast. I was attempting to swerve out of its path when it struck my front end.”

“A truck backed though my windshield and into my wife’s face.”

“I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.”

“The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.”

“An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle, and vanished.”

lego, good times...

facts?

• More people die a year by coconuts falling on their heads than by shark attacks.
• Male angler fish latch onto females and slowly deteriorate into nothing more than a pair of balls so that the female angler fish can have fresh semen whenever she needs to reproduce.
• The moon rises 50 minutes later each day. That’s why it’s up during they day sometimes.
• A sunset is usually more brilliant than a sunrise because of the dust that’s kicked up by the sun heating the ground, creating thermals. The dust then refracts the light and creates colors in the sky.
• some south african frogs are known to change sex in a one sex environment
• A Piece of ivory can be shaped and molded once it has been soaked for a few hours in a mild acid like vinegar or beer.
• dill pickles light up when charged with an electrical current.
• “Light years” are only, actually, “years” relative to the speed of the observer (us here on Earth). Not because of the 365 day cycle of the earth we call a year, but because we’re moving at such a slower speed than light that we perceive time incredibly differently.
• Cats purr at a frequency of 27-44 Hz. This is approximately that of a diesel engine.
• A male calico cat is very rare.
• Futura was the first font on the moon.
• mules can’t reproduce
• Sharks die if you drag them backwards.
• Every single living thing on this planet with an ass and a mouth forms the asshole first in early development.
• starfish have no brains.
• Your nails are made of keratin.

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